I am Woman Hear Me Roar !!!

As my babes started school yesterday I came to realize that this past year had been a major accomplishment that I had achieved all on my own. It was liberating, empowering, it was beautiful and I am proud. Over  the past few years  I had come to rely on significant others, (even with as insignificant as they were) My Mom and Step-Dad, and friends for physical hands on help, whether transporting kids or being an available body while I had any combination of the others somewhere else, but after weeding my "Man" garden last summer, and My lovely Mother and Fabulous Step Dad relocating to North Carolina last September, my resources sort of collapsed in that department, and I had to regroup, put my Big Girl Panties on and figure it out!! It opened my eyes to a culture of Moms that show strength, without ever asking for validation, or to have their egos stroked, and that is because we are Strong, That is because We Persevere, That is because we are Women!

In the past five years I have gone through and watched a plethora of my women friends go through divorce, and with the exception of one, it was initiated or caused by a mans failure to stay committed when faced with boredom, personal failure, self esteem issues, intimacy issues ,addiction issues, infidelity issues, job issues unemployment issues, and on and on. Now I am not of the mind that two people got to those places "alone" but I am of the mind that it takes TWO willing parties to fix an issue, and commit to what they vowed to honor. What I have witnessed are Men in these situations become Weak Man Children and slink away rather than face that their woman is the stronger of the two, and would be and are willing to stand by them through diversity and work very hard to mend the broken.

To me, the men of days past are long gone, The "provider" who worked so his wife could stay home and raise kids, make the Home Happy, cook yummy dinners....Blah, Blah, Blah.... all gone, and the women are the ones who mixed up those roles, I am well aware of that. In the mixing of these roles however, the "Provider" role transferred to husband AND wife , while the kids and the house did NOT, thus making the woman the stronger in the dynamic, and led these said Man Children off to look for something to make them feel important. As a woman, as a nurturer we are programmed to raise and  protect our children, and the majority of us do that blind to the obvious that It has made us the Stronger of the two.

So as Moms, we raise kids, parent kids, set limits for kids, shuttle kids, care for kids, take time off work to be there for kids, cheer for kids , cry with kids , laugh with kids, get up at the ass crack of dawn for kids, we scream at kids, we punish kids, we listen to kids, we referee kids, we help kids, we teach kids, we do what ever it takes to get these babes ready to go into the world, and we didn't decide to do this one day all alone......No, we fell in love, we made babies, we watched these tiny humans grow into the people they are becoming,with our partner, and when your partner decides to be weak, and dip out because they cant man up to the responsibility they vowed to uphold, we will still do all that, while working, managing the money, the house, the carpools, the practices, our own friendships and relationships and we will do it with Grace. Because as women We Are Stronger, and We Are Braver.

I know this doesnt set the standard for all women or for all men, but in the scenes that have played out in my life and the lives of my friends, this is what has happened, all I can say to you ladies is Shine on !! Dont ever flame out for a man who thinks you Burn too Bright.