Rant Rant Rant !!!!!! If you aren't in to reading a rant that is purely all frustration and that should just be " Let Go Of", I suggest you close this page NOW........
You still here? Well don't comment negatively, I did warn you!! ''
Have you ever asked a simple question, a question that in all rights you were more than entitled to the answer, and yet get passive aggressive, evasive answers? For those of you dealing with an Ex, I am sure from time to time you have had to ask a question and basically need to spell it out to get the reply you need, deserve, want, request, or require. WHY< WHY< WHY?? Please tell me why!!!
If a custodial parent is asking a noncustodial parent for a work address and work phone number, Do you ask why? and if N.C parent is given an answer of " I am filling out school forms and I don't have it" Why do I get.... "Well, Why do they need it?" Should I retreat and just leave it blank? Well if I do, when Said parent misses something they blame ME for not notifying them..... Oy Vey!! Really?? You wouldnt give your information!!! Welcome to "Sarahs life 101" !!
Recently I gained knowledge that my ex had lost his job, I have no interest in the how or whys, my concern is for my boys. I have physically stayed in the area that we lived in when we were married to keep the boys in the school system that they were established in. Now its not 90210 or anything but the cost of living is higher here than some other areas of Richmond. I didn't do it because I love Suburgatory, I did it because it was what was best for my kids. With that said, Every cent I make goes toward bills to live here and the Child support received, is added to that amount, My kids are involved in everything they can be , That takes $$, So I juggle here and there and figure it out, Field Trips, Improv clubs, Drivers Ed fees, Summer Classes, countless trips back and forth to their specialty schools that are not near by, then there are Homecomings, there are track meets, there are birthday parties and the bizarre fact that the beasts wont stop growing!!!! Do you know what jeans cost when your child is 26X34 and there are only a handful of stores you can even purchase them in ??? Well I'll tell you...A LOT!! Now I could tell my kids NO, I could deny them entrance into the Specialty Programs they've worked so hard to get in to, have them ride "Normal " buses that don't involve me at 6:00 am and 4:45-6:00 pm driving and picking up, I could work a 8-5 job that pays better, but gives no flexibility to be there for the kids, and tell them to " Suck it Up", but I don't believe that is fair, I don't believe my kids should be denied because their parents made some shitty decisions that landed them in this scenario.
So I work my Crazy job, that allows me to come in at 9 or 9:08 so I can see my 10 year old off on the bus, and it allows me to work through lunch and leave at 4:30 to pick up from practices, or leave for an hour in the middle of our Clinic hours on a Thursday to catch a Track meet so that my son knows how proud I am of him, It allows me to stay home with a sick kid , or take a group to DC for a special Day (only once in 3 years) but still, they know In all aspects I am "It"! Now, don't get me wrong, I don't get paid when I have to run kids, I am an hourly employee, So when there is a need on their behalf and i jump. We also don't get help at 5 am running kids to shuttle buses , there isn't any help at 10 on a Monday when a ride is needed home from the Comedy Sportz Club, there isn't any help from cross country practice every afternoon, No, Its just me and the beasts, and we manage pretty Damn well if I say so myself.
So.....With all that said, why oh why, when I ask the question " Will there be any changes in Child support or the dates of disbursement" do I have to get get answers such as......
"Why would there be?"...... Well because there is a lag time when the state has to set up to pull from a new job, and they do that because you were such a deadbeat that the courts ordered it be deducted directly from your check, do I need to go on??
I guess if I were the N.C ( his choice BTW) I would be at ease knowing someone had the interests of my kids before their own, that i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my sons were doing great because #1 they ARE great, and #2 they have a parent who supports them in everything they do, and I wouldn't do anything to be a obstacle in the already chaotic situation. Thats just me I guess, Thats not the "norm" i guess, and thats what I have to deal with. So for now I will just "Go with It", and pray that all works out. I will give this nagging worry NO MORE energy, and if any of you reading this can get a glimpse into the life of a single mom and it shines a light on your own behavior and prompts even one person to try and make a teeny tiny change, well than I made a little difference in this entirely fucked up world.
Thanks for indulging me, Have a great Monday night, this Momma needs to pick up a kid!!
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