I'm not your friend , I am your MOTHER!!!!

    So I am kinda in the shitter with my Sons over a comment I made some time ago... I simply said as a response to "I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!!!!!!"... "Thats perfectly fine darling. I love you, I always will, thats what parents do,and I am not your friend I am your mother, and you don't have to like me"

   Well they cried, I mean tears, "YOU DON'T LIKE ME???? how could you say that? I am your child, you gave birth to me, and you don't like me?" I tried to explain myself and that only seemed to make things worse. Now, we are a few months down the road and I am reminded constantly of my comment. Should I happen to ask... "Whats wrong Buddy?" I now get....."YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND, WHAT DO YOU CARE?"

   As you can imagine this saddens me, I am the primary caregiver to these Not so Tiny Humans , and its hard to be the parent I want to be and not be seen as the enemy sometimes, We have fun, I am involved, but as kids see things....I am the "all rules, no fun parent". I changed my parenting style about 3 months ago, and while I am seeing improvement in behavior, the calmness of my home, I guess thats just not that much fun to boys....

     So this weekend I am gonna mix things up, Im not gonna go all E.E. on them or anything, I mean who lets  a nine year old jump off an abandon building into the James River?? Not this mom....and apparently Kings Dominion is fun and Roller Coasters are great , but we do that "too much", So I am thinking about camping...Fun huh?? Mountains, cooking over a fire, smores and scary stories....Maybe we will see a bear, or a snake... They wont have to shower... they will love that, Hell they dont even have to change their underwear if they so chose. Is that fun? We could even go as far as to make it a "Survivor" weekend. Now for those of you who know me well, you know I dont do camping...I dont do hotels that are less than 4 stars... So this is a real stretch for me, and i know my darlings will see my sacrifice and understand then the difference between loving a child and being a friend.....ROTFLMAO!!!!! No they wont!!!! and in all actually I think I will send them camping ALONE and see who survives, now that would be fun, eh? A pack of matches, a sleeping bag each, a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a fishing pole, maybe a compass and a map!!! Do you think then they will come to appreciate and respect their hard working mother? How about the mundane task of keeping clean laundry, hot meals, rides to and from bus stops, afterschool functions, friends houses???How about the countless all nighters because someone had a bad dream or a stomach ache? I could go on forever about these things that I do, these things I do without thinking, they are like breathing to me, I do them because I am a Mom, I do them because I love my children, I do them because if I didnt no one would. Is it too much to ask for them to be grateful? Is it too much to ask of them to understand?

    I will let you know if I actually do this camping idea, I will probably wimp out, THEY would probably wimp out, I can hear them now..."its so hot, the bugs suck, I wanna play X-Box, Dad would have let us jump off that 500 foot water fall into unknown waters....YOU ARE NO FUN!!! You know what? Maybe I should start with a non room serviced hotel... Would that seem fun???
 

5,4,3,2,1.....Here we Go With MONDAY!!!

What an AMAZING Weekend, Friday started with a Good Ol' cookout, and some Crazy Kiddos!!! Saturday was a DREARY day, and I was sick, but the boys were wonderful and let me rest, then we went to see the AVENGERS, Me, The Ex and all four Boys, What an accomplishment, Yay for Co-Parenting!!!

Sunday we all got up and ready, met up with.....(hmmm, not sure what to call him, well call him" M.A.H." My absent husband) So, met up with MAH and headed to Kings Dominion, What an AWESOME day !!! The kids were each tall enough to ride EVERY RIDE!!!!! Finally, a sigh of relief, its sorta like when you have stair step kids and the last one finally is out of diapers.... Its an indescribable freedom, BUT that freedom was always my excuse for not riding the coasters, and it has been a damn good rouse for the past 19 years. Well guess what , not anymore, and I thought after riding the DOMINATOR I had proved my Bravery and could go about my
day riding things like the swings,  and  other "easy rides, maybe the bumper cars...But NO !! #3 and #2 quickly took off to do the "big " rides, and #4 wanted to ride the Scooby Doo. ( totally my speed)
Look at how Happy those people are!! Well that wasnt enough for #4, as soon as we got off that he says...."Hey Mom, I think I might like that Anaconda Coaster, can we try together?" Well who says no to a kid facing his fear, Not this Mom!!! So we moved on to bigger and way more Painful rides, but he did it, and he loved it!! I could go on and on, but there is so much about this morning to share still, that I will post one last picture from yesterday, this was the last ride of the day, #4 decided he would ride the Dominator, #3 rode in the front and M.A.H and I took #4 a few rows back( this was much better the second time by the way) and #4 LOVED it!!!! So #3 and he ran back through the line to ride ALONE in The FRONT CAR..... and yes I bought the souvenir photo, because I was just that Happy about our Fantastic Family day, and that we all SQUASHED those Coaster Fears!!!!

Fast Forward to this morning, alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze ,alarm...PANIC, WAKE UP!!!! Got #3 to his shuttle, almost killed my sleepy self when I  pulled out in front of a car(totally my fault), got some caffiene in me and #4 to school, then #2 had a Dr. appt for his allergies. We get into the exam room and the nurse asks"do you need a step stool to get up there Honey?" Ummmm, #2 is 5'3 and 14 and it was all we could do to keep from falling out laughing at her, but we stayed composed until she left the room. We made it through the appt. and are now about to start yet another regimen of meds, and an old man(who was speaking to himself when we got there) says to me as we are exiting "whats wrong with you're skinny little girl?" Let me say if it hadn't been for  the abundance of compliments he received about his Hair this morning at Panera, we may of had a real incident on our hands, but once again, we laughed hysterically, I made it up to him with a Mocha Frappacino on the way to school and all was well!!!

Fast forward to work ....I am not here 5 minutes, and a patient is calling about her schizophrenic girlfriend, they are both Schizo, and met at the local Psychiatric Hospital when they were there for inpatient treatment, (I am being COMPLETELY SERIOUS!!) the phone call went a little something like this.....

Betty-"Miss Sarah, this is Betty, YoYo stabbed me over the weekend 7 times, I got stitches in my head, my eye, my neck, but listen I need you to TDO her"

TDO =temporary detaining order

Me-"Wait a minute, you were stabbed? , you need to call the police"

Betty-" I did, they arrested her but one of the kids bonded her out, and right now she on the corner by my house with her pants at her ankles screaming, "kiss my BIG BEAUTIFUL BLACK ASS" as people go by, the woman ain't right"

This went on and on, but I am happy to report YoYo(*that is her name!!!) has been taken back into custody and is awaiting crisis transport to our local psychiatric facility....


Happy Freakin' Crazy Monday!!!! and its only noon. So I will patiently wait for what  for  more that could bring me excitement and joy? I can hardly wait !!!

Oh and we all made a deal this morning, that if they clean their rooms and help me with the laundry this afternoon, i will give back the Xbox for a weeks  trial, BUT, they have to sing EVERYTHING THEY SAY!!!!

***** This was a bit odd while at the doctors office, but its Fun, and thats what its all about....Eh?

My son is a MAN !!!

As most of you know I have 4 sons, the oldest of which is , ahem.... 21 (and, yes I did have him when I was 10 LOL) Any who, he is going to stay with me for a week or so until things level out for him with his  living situation , he arrived last night , and in the 2 months since I last saw him last,  has taken up some serious weight lifting and working out. Now I knew this as we have been in touch over the past few months, but I guess I underestimated his determination. Let me put it this way, He came in the house and scared me, I mean I didn't recognize is silhouette as he came into my sight, and considering , there had been a knock at the door, and I said come in.... There was  a split second that I was wondering who the strange man was in my house.

We had a great evening, catching up, and eventually I had to get to bed and it was time for him and his buddies to hit the gym, So at 10:00, he packed a gym bag, made a protein drink,Got the scoop on how crazy and loud the house would be at 6:30 as the 3 younger beasts and I prepare for our day, took a key and headed out.

I guess I am writing this for myself, to remember this funny yet endearing evening with my son, who I had to kick out of my house back in February shortly after he had turned 21.To push him into growing up. As hard as that was for both of us, I see him now as a young man, working 2 jobs,he has  paid off court and legal fees in order to FINALLY obtain a drivers license ( which he was so proud to show off), has formed friendships, and has begun mending relationships in his life.

Raising sons is the hardest and the most rewarding endeavor all at the same time!! So now to look at this young man, that  I have been positive I had ruined, and see him growing, brings back faith and confidence in myself as Mom. I Thank God for the Grace he has given me with my children. The Grace that I lose sight of so often. I Know in my heart He has this, and He will continue to guide me through this journey of Motherhood the best that I can, and he has the rest....

***** I will have to snap a picture of him, you all wont believe its even him!!! LOL

Starbucks and Men....

You know how they say the way to a mans heart <3 is through his stomach, well the way to My heart is a nice big cup of coffee, preferably delivered to me, on a whim, in a Starbucks cup!! That makes my heart smile, and then do jumping jacks and back flips, but still, I LOVE COFFEE. Now I am not a coffee snob or anything, I mean I do love Starbucks, but its the coffee, not a frufru flffy drink, just a BIG BOLD coffee.....YUMM-O!!!

So, when my first ex husband, I guess my only ex husband, and I started having coffee this year to create a "better environment" for our children, Our meeting place was Starbucks. Nice, Neutral Starbucks,Oh, and they have Caffeine...BONUS!!! As time has progressed our schedules have not meshed that well, so he has been offering to drop Coffee off to me!!! Awesome you say? The first time I have to admit I didn't even drink it, I poured the whole thing in the toilet... I was scared, did he spit in it, or worse?? Well in the last few weeks of my "transformation" I have really been learning to Trust...(not that he is trustworthy or anything) but if hes gonna spend 3 bucks on a coffee and go out of his way to get it to me, maybe just maybe hes being nice...Who knows ??

Now On Thursdays I used to get Coffee delivered to me from my Good friend Bob.(well we'll call him Bob)Bob watches, I mean watched , my kids on Thursdays (he has a girlfriend now) and now hes a bit too busy..... Anywho, Thursdays used to be my Most Favorite days, You see Tiny Beast #4 would come on into my office, and deliver me a Big Ol' Coffee, and even though it was bought by a Bob, having one of the beasts deliver it , always made my Thursdays better, and Thursdays are hard days at work, FULL ON CRAZY!!!!

Then there are the Drug Dealers, I mean Drug Reps......They love to bring me coffee, Because I am their "Golden Ticket" if I don't get them through to the Doctor, they don't get to promote their drugs, if they don't promote their drugs their numbers don't go up, if their ....You get the picture. So on any given Thursday or Friday, when these so called reps are coming by, at any given time there are 2-5 Starbucks cups on my desk.
Which is bringing me around to a point here..... When speaking someones love language I find it very easy, There are things that speak to a person, whether silly, intimate, personal, what have you. For me, I love coffee,and my friends Know that !!!Coffee picks me up when I am down,  even acquaintances know this, that's why I can talk about coffee forever, Thats why the people mentioned above do what they do, they know it speaks to me, and in turn gets them what they want....

But when it comes to Love, real love, with someone you truly love and they Cannot speak the language to you , is there love there? If you know a phone call will leave your loved one counting the minutes until they see you, wouldn't you call them? I don't know how love looks to you but to me it is the core of who we are, we were put here to love, If you cant articulate the feelings you can always show the feelings, in a million little things. Remember Llyod Dobler, Remember the scene with the boom box?? In your eyes??? Even Lloyd got it, he spoke the best he could, but when it comes down to it, a lady needs to be shown..... Is that too much to ask?

****** If I die from this coffee, you know who did it!!!!